Can't take it any more. I don't understand you, and I deserved something better. You are leading me on.
Dearest Saluncia, Do not be surprised by my letter because it’s autumn, dark and gloomy outside, and it’s raining, so it seems one needs not look for reasons inside the heart. And so I am writing for I cannot take it any more. I waited observed, and what’s most important I tolerated. But what of it? I tried to understand, I wanted to understand you, all in vain. Still you don’t give me a reason for another approach. And so here I am asking why I don’t deserve something better; well, maybe I don’t know, so you tell me. Sometimes I have a certain impression that you are making me face a different kind of fact, so please tell me (since I suspect that you do not think about it at all). Salenka, if you gave me an answer, I would ask you for a positive answer, OK? Salus, how much has changed during our stay in the camp, how many changes in the local scene. ____?____ and also ___?___ ___?___ in ___?___ private, and always more or less I knew how it is, but now I cannot reach any decision. And so you toy with me, my love? You want to lead me off a straight path, so where are you leading me? Please speak up. I am not suggesting in any way how your mind should dictate or how you should consider it. You probably know everything concerning me: I aspire to have a friend for good or bad, the kind whom no power could tear us apart. In short, that ‘s the truth. These words express much, all by themselves. My beautiful one even though I expect a positive answer, I ask you for a definite answer because only that could point to my life’s future path. Please consider it, dearest. And please don’t misunderstand me… I send you my affectionate regards. Chaim