Letter #

226

Author: 
Raizel Garncarz

Date:

12/21/45

Summary:

I talk to you when I am writing these letters. No one is free from egoism. Some people are more alone than we are. We are different people since we heard from you.

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Full Translation

Dear Salusia, Sabbath just ended, and I could hardly wait for the evening to come around. It is always like that: the more impatient you are, the slower the time drags on. Actually, I have nothing new to communicate to you. Life goes on in its everyday fashion, always the same. We do live under great tension, which provides variety to our lives. The hour during which I am busy writing to you is better than the best entertainment, since it allows me to be occupied with you alone. I talk to you. In other words, at that moment we are together completely, and that for me is true happiness. If I only could could, I would never stop writing to you. However, does it really make sense to do so, when for all our writing we only receive silence? We keep sending mail constantly, and we are running out of subject to write about. We do so much desire some news about you, Sala, and we are getting very impatient. We understand that you too keep in constant touch with is, so it must be the fault of the postal service, which in turn causes us anxiety. If we could only receive an answer to one of our letters, our hearts would be lighter. Well, perhaps that is how this has to be–there is no end to our suffering. Maybe it is sinful for us to despair, since there are people who, so far, are all alone in the world and they have now news of anyone. I can well appreciate it. However, it is part of human nature for everyone to possess and “ego”; some to a greater and some to a lesser extent, none free of egotism. I have to admit that we too are part of it. We do know that there are people who have absolutely no kindred soul near them, whose lot is worse than ours. However, all this knowledge does not allow us to feel satisfied only because we know that you are alive, and that you exist for us. We are always most eager to get some missive from you. So far we only received two of them, and both brought much joy and consolation to our lonely hearts. I can tell you, Sala, we are different people ever since we received the first news from you. Even Blimka’s letters to me are totally different now. Oh Sala, how you cheered us up by letting us know you exist_ No, I cannot in any way express our feelings, no matter how much I would wish to do so. It’s even unnecessary to explain it, as you yourself, without doubt, feel the same way. Enough of that. How are things with you? How is your health? Remember these matters are of greatest interest to us. Do not worry about us. Thank God the worst is over. Actually I am not cured yet, but that is minor. I left the hospital and feel quite well, but a little weak. However, I am a person who up to now was tethered to a hospital bed, which I have finally gotten rid of, so now I hope to fully regain my health. Blimka will soon start working, I don’t know at what kind of job. Salus, remember to be in Bergen Belsen so you could get here sooner. I keep filling out forms pertaining to your departure and keep awaiting you here. I have to finish now, so I send you countless kisses and I miss you. From your sisters, Blimka and Rozia who wish to see you as soon as possible. Best regards for all your friends. Regards from Sifra Rajzman. Hope to see you soon.