Letter #

219

Author: 
Roza Grünbaum

Date:

10/5/42

Summary:

I'm so devoid of hope and enthusiasm for life. Haven't received answer from Sala's parents. Have been sick. Working in Bendzin.

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Full Translation

My dear Sala, I don't know, if I should apologize to you. Dear, you will excuse me, I'm very sorry but you, dear Sala, will not be angry at me, because our unhappy hearts understand each other. It's been such a long time since I received [Blima's sister's] your card; it has been two months already and my joy was great but my suffering was even greater. Sala, I'm writing and I can't get this letter together, I'm so devoid of hope and enthusiasm for life, please accept my apologies for writing this way. A letter, which I have been wanting to send to you, has been sitting here for a long time. I wrote to Sosnowitz, to your parents, many times, but never received a reply. I wrote to my friends, just to get in touch with them, and never received a reply either, unfortunately. In the meantime, I've been very sick, for four weeks, but I'm feeling better now that I can write, but I still can't work. Sala, I know and understand that the letter to you ought to be entirely different. It should be warmer, more loving and consoling, but your pain is my pain, your suffering is also mine. Your dear parents and your family are as dear to me as they are to you and both of us are unhappy. Dear cousin, I am not capable, however, to be a comfort since I am very unhappy. Sala, believe me, I would be happy, if I were together with [Blima's sister] you. I know that we would understand each other and carry life together on our shoulders and the heavy loads on our hearts, until the time will come when we will be together again with our loved ones. Sala, you mustn't loose hope, you have to live with optimism. More has been lost than gained and that's all we can say (?). You, dear Sala, will still be happy together with your dear parents. Right now, I can't write more because I don't feel well. You're asking, Sala, how we settled down. We have a nice room, that is, my sister and cousin and I work in the shop and if we have some time ..., you know. F. Zylberstein is still in Bendsburg [Bendzin] and is working here. I haven't seen him for a long time because I was sick. Concerning a photos of me, dear Sala, you will get one, I had one done even though my sickness ruined [my looks] me, but you'll get one. I would like to do everything to make you happy. What else is new with you, dear cousin? Are you well? Where is Mr. Kaufman now and what else is happening? Are you together with many girls? ... Please write me and tell me where you're working. My dear Sala, I implore you not to be angry at me or think badly of me, but I couldn't write the letter in any other way, only drag along this way. I started writing yesterday and, finally, today I'm done because I have no energy and you are as dear to me as a sister and you're suffering as much as I do. But don't worry, Sala, things will still turn out well. My brother is presently in Markstadt, together with Leon's sister and cousin. I haven't received mail [from them] in a very long time. You can probably imagine my anguish that I didn't get a post card from Leon either. Once again, I ask you, dear Sala, don't worry, you won't achieve anything with that. You are in the camp and have your duties and then you'll have to be healthy and await the time of happiness. Stay well. I kiss you [uncountable] many, many times. Your cousin, who hopes to be happy together with you. Don't worry, that won't help. My sister sends warm regards. My cousin sends regards. Please give regards to Dr. Rozia [Grinbaum]